FICTIONAL SHORT STORIES TO INSPIRE THE SOUL...

This blog contains fictional short stories that advocate self-acceptance and growth.
All stories are original pieces written by the blog author, Christin Webb.

Visit www.christinwebb.com for details about her first published novel, Enough Time.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

"Mommas Perfect Little Lady"

“Every time I looked at the clock and saw that the hand made it at least seven minutes past every fifteen, I would say a prayer. And after each prayer, I would keep my eyes closed for another two minutes just to repeat this ritual until the test was over. If you guessed that I failed my test, you’re the lucky winner!”

This condition that I have seems to be controlling every facet of my life. My mom, even after the extensive talk with my doctors, refuses to accept that I may be like this forever. She yells at me every time I bring my grades home. Repeatedly shouting, “You know you can do better! You’re not focusing!” And all I want to respond to her is, “Well duh! That’s what the doctors say I will have problems doing!” But I don’t because she’s my mom and she just doesn’t get it. How could she?
She has worked so hard to make me the perfect daughter, or what she has always called me, “momma’s perfect little lady”. Between all the private schooling, etiquette classes, piano lessons, conversations and play dates with only the “elite” networks, she never imaged she’d learn that fifteen-year-old, “momma’s perfect little lady”, wasn’t really perfect. I was diagnosed with OCD.

The last few months have been very difficult for my family. Not too long ago, my mother and father decided to plan a family trip. My brother and I were all excited, but when the day came to leave, things went south. I found myself unable to pick which clothes to pack. I truly experienced various level s of anxiety and concern about making the right choices. While my father continued to try and explain to my mother to be more patient with me, her impatience, got the best of me and I declined in going. Not only did they leave me, but my brother had the nerve to send me pictures of them on the trip.

It was during that trip that I had the opportunity to read a great online book on how to live a "normal" life with OCD. It was inspiring to see not only was there a plethora of literature to make me more knowledgeable, but communitites to encourage others and be encouraged. It’s been a struggle for me, individually, but freeing simultaneously. It’s amazing how learning why you are the way you are can probably be one of the most relieving feelings you can ever be blessed to encounter. I’ve felt lost, confused, betrayed, and misunderstood, but I know it’s still a growing experience for all of us. And unfortunately, “momma’s perfect little lady” just wasn’t so.