Maybe I should’ve just called Justin to tell him I was leaving him. I was trying to do the respectful thing and let him know face to face; so much for trying to take the mature route. I’m in my red coupe tryin to get away from him, but he ain’t letting up. We’re headed West on 240; going eighty in a fifty-five zone. He must want me dead or something. I’m convinced. I see the exit to the nearest police station coming up. I’ve got about three cars to the right of me that I’ve got to dodge to get off. He’s on my tail tough.
Once upon a time…
Justin and I met three years ago in Miami. I was on an all girls trip with a few co-workers and my sisters. Everything was going good. We met there, found out we both lived in Georgia and exchanged numbers. He stayed about three hours away and came to see me every other weekend. He was attentive. I never had to forget about him because he made himself present in my life. There were some rough times too, but I really feel like they never outweighed the good. By the second year of our relationship, Justin became very controlling and possessive. He no longer wanted me out with my girls; thinking I would be home most of the time, doing nothing. I was never the stay-at-home type; even when he met me I was always on the go. Yet he’d be out with the boys. Or he didn’t want me wearing short skirts. What else does he want me to wear when I go out? I’m only twenty-eight. He stay tripping. I don’t get it. It was like he was trying to change me.
Eventually, I just got tired of being subjected to his insecurity of being with me. I decided I was too young to be attached to someone who didn’t seem to want to let me grow in my own way. And I deserve that at the least. Three days ago I called him and told him I wanted to talk and to meet me at his house around eight thirty that night. He agreed. I was already there when he pulled up. I’d made it there about an hour before he did so I could remove my things from his place before he got there.
Closing the door to his hunter green mustang, he walked over to me as I leaned against my car with a note. “How you doing baby?” he began reaching out to me for a hug and kiss.
Rejecting his efforts, I stepped back, “ I don’t want this to take long, Justin, so, let me say it.”
Looking beyond my shoulders becoming confused by my distance, Justin said, “What are you doing, Kindle? What’s all that stuff in your car?” He began rubbing his head in disgust. His face muscled together like he was about to burst open.
“Before you get all riled up, Justin,” trying to keep him calm. “I wanted to tell you face to face that I’m done with this. It’s been too long of a ride for me to feel how I do. I don’t ever know what to expect from you. I feel like I’m in the same place I was as a person three years ago when I met you. And that’s not cool. Not cool at all. I’m supposed to feel like I’ve grown as a person. I’m supposed to feel like I’ve grown with you; within what we’re supposed to be doing together.”
Reaching out for my hand in an attempt to comfort me, he said,“And I guess you’re telling me you don’t feel like that, huh?”
“Honestly, Justin. I am. I want to keep in touch, but I can’t move forward with you like this. I just can’t,” I responded as I opened my car door, got in and drove off. He just stood in the same spot. I guess in disbelief. I felt bad, but I felt it was the right decision.
I still feel like I made the right decision. When I left the grocery store this morning, Justin was outside waiting on me in his car. I did get nervous because he was the last person I thought to see. I ignored him, loaded my groceries, got in my car and pulled off. I wasn’t thinking I was about to play a game of automobile Russian roulette. So… here is Justin ringing my phone off the hook chasing me in his car like a mad man. I don’t know what I could have done to get him to respond like this. I thought he was a different type man; not the kind that couldn’t stand rejection to this extreme. He's on my bumper like he really wants me dead. I think I can make it past these cars and off this exit. Maybe even lose him.
I’m getting off the ramp, but I can’t lose Justin. He’s still very close. He ought to know where I’m headed. He knows I’m not stupid. I got about two minutes to get to the police station. It’s only a few blocks down the way headed north on Bingham. I see a few people are out on the streets early this morning, but it’s not stopping Justin at all. I wish I could think back to what I did or said for him to act like this. Was it me getting my stuff from his house? Was it the fact that I left without much conversation for him. He’s just being really stupid right now. I’m finally pulling into the police station, hoping I’ve lost Justin. I’m opening my door when he pulls right up beside my car, looks at me straight in the eye and pulls out a gun. Next thing I hear is a gun go off. I’m closing my eyes, hoping it’s not me.e wH